checking in

How on Earth do bloggers keep up with this nonsense? Sheesh. Life. Getting in the way and all that.

Just checking in to say I'm alive. Perhaps at some point I'll get used to my commute and will have time to keep a record of the lack of excitement around here. In the meantime, I'm going to finish knitting this gosh-blessed sweater....

stop the world, it's time to get off

have you ever been on a merry-go-round, having the time of your life,

when all of a sudden - 

you need to get off the ride, right this second?

immediately.

NOW.

well, Husband dropped the minor bombshell that he might be getting tired of playing soldier

and he wants to see what life is like on The Outside. 

the process to separate takes nine months to one year, but you don't know Husband.

Husband wants out TOMORROW.

so, obviously, I've been freaking out just a wee bit.

he's researching Masters programs, 

going to job fairs to see what the market looks like,

researching the areas we'd potentially like to move to
(it's actually quite exciting to think we could choose our location)

and making a timeline,

but (having done it three times, twice this year alone)

we know starting over is never fun,

and this time it will be without the income and benefits we are used to.

did I mention I've been freaking out a bit?

Husband always seems to land on his feet, so let's hope his lucky rabbit foot didn't hop away.

For Better or For Worse

I've been having a Criminal Minds marathon this weekend while knitting baby gifts for friends. I quite like crime dramas, and both Husband and I enjoy watching the BAU work through what makes these criminals tick. Plus the characters themselves are so well-written and interesting!

One of the pivotal characters is Aaron Hotch, the leader of the group. He is my favorite out of all of them, most likely because he reminds me of Husband: stoic, serious, ridiculously intelligent... and damn handsome. Part of the story of his character involves his relationship with his wife, Hayley. I won't give away the resolution to the issue, but the writers spend a lot of time focusing on how much Hayley resents Hotch and his work at the BAU because it takes his time away from his family... and that infuriates me.

She constantly asks him to choose between work and his family. I'm entirely aware of the difficulties she endures and the frustration she must feel, however - she married him knowing full well the scope and unpredictability of his job in the BAU. She has to be aware not only that he is passionate about the work he does, and he is very good at, and it's a very important job that stops people from killing other people. SERIOUSLY, WOMAN? How on earth can you ask that of someone you allegedly love? How can you ask them to give up a part of themselves, something that makes them who they are? What gives you the right to dictate his life? You're his wife, yes, and you certainly ought to have a vote, but how can you ask your husband to stop being who he is? Don't you realize that forcing him to give up something he so obviously cares about and is adept at will lead him to resent you and be miserable in whatever job he takes next?

Maybe I'm crazy, or is this just a side effect of being a military spouse? Have I given up any hope of control of my life or my husband's schedule?

Mt Rogers, Virginia

Good friends of ours invited us to go camping over Labor Day weekend -

they're some of our favorite people,

and we've loved watching their children grow over the last five years. 

It's so fun to think of how different the kids were when we first met them: 

Their oldest was only six weeks old!!

While we were there,

Husband and I took a quick hike along a few miles of the Appalachian Trail to see the summit of Mt Rogers, the highest peak in Virginia.

The hike started off with beautiful views!

Wild ponies at Massey Gap.

Picking up the Appalachian Trail!

You can see the white blazes that mark the trail,

all 2,000 miles (give-or-take).

There were so many beautiful vistas,

and climbing up a few extra feet earned one an even better vantage point.

About 75% of my hikes with my husband have this view.

He turns around to check on me every half mile or so,

more frequently if we are headed uphill and he knows I'm going to have trouble breathing.

Made it!

The view from the summit may not be the most spectacular mountain top I've ever seen,

but it's nice to block-check a state's high point.

If you're keeping track, that's two high points for my husband - Mt Raininer and Mt Rogers - and one for me.

Still - I've summited three mountains now, which is a nice starting point.

Hey!

I ran a mile tonight!

First mile in two months... At this rate, I'm on track to have run twenty five miles by the end of the year.

: /

Small potatoes after logging 500 miles, a 10k, a half marathon, and a full marathon last year.

I need to get back to that.

Shark Week! (ooh-ha-ha!)

Shark Week has been one of my favorite television features for years, but since we don't have cable I don't get to watch it in real time.

Let's be honest, until they find a Megalodon, Shark Week is fairly predictable.

So these days, in order to get my fix, I'm binge-watching Shark Week episodes on Netflix -

in between watching all of Robin Williams' movies.

What a heartbreaking bit of news that was! 

I've always loved Robin Williams as an actor and as comedian.

He brought such life and vibrancy to each character he played, 

his movies made me laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time,

and he always seemed so genuine and human in his interviews.

I'm since quite close to people who have battled various addictions over time -

hearing the news of his death and how it occurred scared me.

It could have been someone I know.

Internal demons are terrifying, and sometimes we don't know how to overcome them.

I hope anyone and everyone I know who is having trouble battling their demons asks for help.

Robin Williams will be dearly, dearly missed,

and so would you if you were to disappear from my life.

-

It's been a week since my birthday.

This year doesn't feel much different from last year, aside from all of the ridiculously epic life changes that have gone on since then.

My first paycheck from my new job came in yesterday

so I went shopping : )

I've regained more weight than I care to admit since this time last year, which I suppose is only a natural side effect of going from running +30 miles per week to running zero miles per week. 

Most of it actually seems to be in the bust, I've only gone up a half size in pants (just enough to put me up a size when I go shopping now), but I'm up three cup sizes in my bras and I need(ed) more shirts that fit! 

It seems like all of my favorite stores are having very good additional discounts off sale items, and I've shopped at new-to-me stores for the first time lately, which brought in a grand total of seven new shirts for under $100. Woohoo!

Now I just need to get my butt out of bed when my alarm goes off at 0525 and get running again!

blogging? what?

no idea how so many people can work full time and blog simultaneously -

then again, maybe not everyone has a +60 minute commute?

i'm still getting used to work

the drive

the job itself

how different it is from Washington

I also seem to have developed a summer cold,

or my body is just being pissy as it adjusts to 0530 wake-up calls

and, since August 7 has passed,

I'm now a year older

wiser?

closer to being able to be a curmudgeonly cat lady.

It doesn't feel much different yet. 

work!

I am SO GLAD to be working again : )

The 75-ish minute commute isn't too bad; I've been listening to The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring for the last week. Twelve hours in and guess what? They just got through the Doors of Durin and have entered the Mines of Moria. TWELVE HOURS of audiobook - two hours of movie. I suppose after I complete LOTR in full I'll have to go back and listen to The Hobbit.

I like my job, too, which is icing on the cake. 

: )

And I think I may be impressing my superiors by learning quickly, responding quickly, and not getting quite as flustered as my counterpart when being barraged with eight emails at a time about the same issue. (Don't get me wrong, I'm getting flustered, but I have mastered the Honey Badgerly art of making faces at my computer while I get work done.)

only the lonely

being an Army wife is very lonely sometimes.

we've moved twice since December - it's been almost eight months since I've had a friend in the same physical location.

aside from the moving,

most Army wives don't work, especially not full-time.

they have time for spouses' clubs

FRG meetings

hey, let's get together for lunch or work out together some time
it hurts to see all the other wives of the unit getting to hang out together,
without getting so much as a text message invitation.

and now almost all of my friends are pregnant or parents,

which seems to isolate me even further - 

let's get together for a play date

I met her in the OB/GYN clinic, we were due the same month

sorry we haven't been in touch, life with kids is so busy

at least I start work again tomorrow.

where is my mind?

... certainly not on blogging right now.
then again, if one has nothing to say, why say anything?

the last week(s) have been full of me doing pretty much nothing - settling everything in to the house, hanging pictures (finally), getting used to my new car, and impatiently waiting to start my new job on MONDAY!

today I did a trial run of my commute at the time I would be heading to work. this means that your favorite late riser had to drag herself out of bed at 0645 - which is still not that early, but when one is used to 0900 wake up calls, even the enthusiasm of a new job is not enough motivation to pop out of bed like a toaster pastry.
the drive was easy, but long (66.3 miles each way! I could take ten miles off that by going a different route, but it wouldn't have any affect on the commute time-wise); having a book on tape made the drive go by quickly enough. I am a bit anxious about becoming disenchanted with the drive, but at the same time, anything I would be likely to find in Fayetteville would take almost as long to get there due to traffic and lights. for example, tomorrow I have to go in to the dealer and pick up my North Carolina license plate (BOOO! HISSS!! Bring back the Washington plates!). the dealer is only 20 miles away, but it is going to take me at least 45 minutes to get down there, and it's still closer than a lot of businesses I initially applied at.

anyway. it's still weird to not be driving my Jeep any more. I'm surprised at how emotional I've been over the situation, because I've wanted a new car for months now. I miss having a 6 cylinder engine - I've had to readjust my expectations of how quickly the car accelerates and when the distance between oncoming vehicles is too short for me to pull out into traffic. I miss being up high, and having the ability to get out of blocked parking spots by going over the curb in front of me without worrying about damaging the trim. since I wanted something under $12,000 that we could get paid off in four years, even without my future income, I didn't hold out for any of the bells and whistles that I was hoping for besides a sunroof. it has been very nice to have my iPod again, though. and, without a doubt, the gas mileage is exceptional. ... but I still miss my Jeep. I hope I'll start to like my car soon.

and that's the news from Lake Wobegon. 

settling in

Whew! We seem to be pretty much moved in. At least, as much as we can be without a dining table and down one dresser.

Want to see pictures?
: )

Hello, house. Hello, new car.

The porch could use a bit of work - I am looking for a patio set I like.

This is the living room as of this moment.

I took a poll on Facebook and Instagram about the furniture arrangement - as much as I love the chair in the corner, having the sofa where it is really cuts off the kitchen and dining area. I think I am going to rearrange back to the original arrangement (sofa against the wall, floating the chair) before our dinner company arrives tonight. 

Another teensy kitchen, another repurposing of existing furniture. These bookshelves are supposed to go on either side of the entertainment center; however, since we have the TV above the fireplace, there is nowhere for them to go. I needed a bar area and to expand my pantry storage, so I threw this together. I want to paint the tension rods black, and probably need to hem those curtains, but I quite like this arrangement. 

I put this basket on the stairs as a collecting spot for items we need to bring up with us.

So far, it has only contained cat.

I can only show you one room upstairs - the master bedroom. 

 I love the color on the wall!

Due to my lack of a second dresser, my bathroom is a wreck; my craft room is pretty much always a wreck and I've got a lot of fabric out for cutting a quilt kit; and I didn't get Greg's permission to take any pictures in Bear Country, but we've got a workout room with a treadmill, weight bench, and all of the free weights, and there's a spare room above the garage that is spacious enough for the sofa AND reclining chair we had in the Columbia apartment.

Come visit in a few months and you can have pear wine!

mission: accomplished!

Yahoo!

We are (pretty much) all moved in!

As with all military moves, there were a few hiccups:

broken dresser

cracked dining room table legs

TV must have fallen off the truck
manufacturing issue with the chair and ottoman I initially chose
no news on the job yet : (

and, of course, I can't figure out where I want my pictures, not to mention that we need to print out new pictures and update some of our frames.

I'm debating whether a few windows need drapery, and a few existing panels need to be hemmed.

There's a chair that desperately needs the assistance of this tutorial - which I will be attending to first thing in the morning.

Once I get all of those ducks lined up I'll post pictures : )

Countdown Clock

Tomorrow - second in-person interview, third interview total. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF PEEEEEEEEETE, please.

Tuesday - KEYS! HOUSE!

Wednesday - STUFF DELIVERED!!

Thursday's pretty quiet, so depending on the new after tomorrow's interview, there will either be an entire day devoted to unpacking or I'll need to go car searching. (First World Problem: But I don't want to drive a caaaaaaar, I like my Jeep! But if I'm going to be driving 50 miles each direction... I'm going to need something that gets better than "up to" 22 mpg.) I've got it narrowed down to the Chevy Cruze (which my little sister drives! but I'm not super excited about the airbag thing), the VW Jetta, or the Toyota Camry.

Friday - FAVORITEST HOLIDAY EVER, 4th of July!! 38 Special and Josh Turner are going to be playing at the Ft Bragg festival, I hope we get a chance to check that out. Josh Turner's voice gives me chills in the best way!

Saturday - my new chair and ottoman will be delivered!

And it will all be downhill from there.

fun over

Ok, now this PCS is getting to me.

I want a call about my interviews.

I want a job.

A hard one, that challenges me to learn new things and improve every day.

 

I want to get out of this basement.

I want my real bed.

I want to find where the damn hole is in this air mattress.

I want my treadmill.

I want my routine.

I want to run until I feel like me again.

one week down, one to go

it's been a quiet week in the basement suite, with the exception of the new hole in our new air mattress (thanks, Radar). obviously the patch kit included was top-of-the-line magic tape, which lasted all of four seconds, and more aggressive approaches (duct tape and super glue, duct tape and 9001 glue) have helped, but there's still a slow leak that leaves us in a semi-hammock by morning. we never end up fully on the ground, which is good, but I get the feeling Husband will soon leave for greener pastures in the form of a guest bed upstairs.

I think my interviews went better than I imagined - at the very least, I'm confident that I come off well in an interview.

1. - I received a secondary, formal application for the first interview.

I'm a little nervous about my chances for this position, since it is something I have no exact experience with, but I hope I accurately conveyed that I can be taught and am willing to learn. I should know by the end of next week about this one.

2. - I left the second interview with an offer, which was lovely, but at the same time... It's retail again, not a career-based endeavor, and while the hours are full time, the pay is more closely aligned with part time retail.

3. - This position sounds quite similar to what I was doing previously, so at least I won't be out of my element. I hope. The regional recruiter I spoke to said that my qualifications were good, and that she would be passing my information to the local office, so I will either get a phone call for an in-person interview early next week or... Or not, I suppose. 

Other than that, just one more week until we get our new house and our stuff back.

the fun has arrived

well.

here we are at Ft Bragg/Fayetteville, North Carolina.

...

There isn't too much to report at the moment: after a nice week in Kentucky with family, the move went relatively smoothly. The movers only took one day to pack and one day to load, so we found ourselves with an air mattress, two suitcases, and a clean apartment late Tuesday night. We spent our last few meals at restaurants we had not managed to stop into yet - if you're ever in downtown Columbia, SC, please do yourself a favor and stop in to Bourbon on Main Street. Order anything with the Cajun pimento cheese (which I will be attempting to recreate at the soonest possible interval) and try not to let your head explode at the four page bourbon menu - and enjoyed walking around what will likely be the only time in our lives we get to live in a downtown atmosphere. I can hold out hope that some company in Chicago will offer Husband oodles of money, but it's a pipe dream. We then stuffed suitcases and felines into vehicles and made the delightfully quick drive north, arriving just in time to head out to dinner with Aunt N. 

Aunt N and Uncle J are also stationed at Ft Bragg, and he is currently deployed. Aunt N has graciously allowed us to stay with her for the next two weeks until our new home is ready, so we have a suite in the basement to share with the cats. It's actually a pretty sweet set up - the air mattress I bought is about 18" off the ground, so we aren't afraid of leaking air and waking up with butts on the floor like we were with the last one. We have a full bathroom and a spare area to put the cats' accoutrements in, and we remembered to set aside the XBOX and smaller TV that Husband used in his room at Ft Lewis, so we have a few terabytes worth of movies and TV shows to watch (a bonus of deployments - people rip books, movies, and TV shows to external hard drives to take with them overseas, which get passed around until one either runs out of space on their hard drive or ends up with enough entertainment to get through an apocalypse...) I also downloaded twelve new books on to my Kindle from said hard drive, so we're not hurting for stuff to do if we decide to take a little time to ourselves. Oh, and of course I brought yarn. We're a little bit frustrated about having to learn a whole new installation and surrounding area, and of course we miss our friends and work networks (interchangeable phrases for the most part) a ton already.

Husband is going to begin inprocessing on Monday, and we're going to spend the next two weeks getting familiar with Fayetteville, Ft Bragg, and trying to wrap our heads around what we will be calling home for the next few years. Bonus round: I'm feeling like a badass because I have not one, not two, but THREE job interviews next week! Mom's sending good job vibes to me from Chicago, but I'm feeling rather pleased to just have interviews - THREE TIMES AS MANY AS THE LAST TIME I WAS SERIOUSLY JOB HUNTING!! OH - and Husband let me go shopping today, and I found some super cute skirts, a dress, and a lace top at Loft for less than the original price of the lace top. 

Basically, winning.

coming up:

excuse the radio silence in advance.

here's what the next few weeks look like for us:

next week: visiting family in western Kentucky

seeing our alma mater

(please, can the bookstore be open during our visit for the first time since we graduated?)

a Charlie Daniels Band concert

oh, and two seven hour drives with cats

then the movers come to pack us up

load everything into a truck

and take it all to storage

cleaning of old apartment

followed by drive to Ft Bragg

two weeks at Aunt N's house

(poor kittens, there are two doggies so they'll probably hide in the basement)

and then

FINALLY

unpacking everything for the first time in seven months

Georgia On My Mind

Husband and I went on a little trip over Memorial Day weekend.

We're both history buffs, which leaves us a bit spoiled for choice in the South - in just a few hours' drive, we can be at any number of historical colonies, Civil or Revolutionary War battle sites, even Washington, DC. 

Here's a hint about our location of choice:

Yes sirs and madams, we went to Savannah. Not only for the historical points of interest, but Savannah is also where Hunter Army Airfield and Fort Stewart are located. Good friends going all the way back to Husband's initial officer training course were recently stationed there and graciously played tour guides extraordinaire, and allowed us to crash their pad and spoil their children.

 

They have a charming home - beautifully decorated, as she has impeccable taste, with an enclosed back porch and a pond. There are resident ducks who have caught on quickly that their yard is a good racket for bread: any time I walked up to the fence, they paddled at high speed over to the fence, even when I wasn't bringing carbohydrates.

We went on an absolutely fascinating trolley tour of the historic district and very quickly fell in love with the city. It rocketed to a top-five ranking on cities we would happily retire to.

Of course, many historical things were seen and facts acquired. For example:
Did you know that at the height of the cotton trade, the cities that set the price for cotton worldwide were Liverpool, England and Savannah, Georgia?

Treacherous stairs - there was a lowered alley between the main street and the mercantile buildings along the river. This was so the farmers bringing cotton had a ramp down to the water to load their wares on the ships, and as they passed underneath the men who judged the cotton were able to view it from above and set their price.

We had an incredible lunch at Clary's, as seen in the movie In The Garden of Good and Evil. If you ever stop in, I recommend the malted pecan waffle. It is served with honey and butter and might possibly be made by angels and ferried down on the clouds. 

and the gardens! the houses! the wrought iron, the ivy, the vibrancy and lushness of the city!

Pictures hardly do it justice.
 

Go see Savannah for yourself.

finish it up Friday

well.

still not feeling 1000% motivated, but I'll take activity in the +/-75% range.

this week:

The Cookie A club patterns for April & May were Game of Thrones themed - Drogons above and Daenerys below. So was the yarn - the colorway was Tyrian Mollusk, seen used in the Drogons.

I don't really follow Game of Thrones, but I still enjoy making the patterns. Plus every finished pair gives me an entry in the drawings: one with each package release, and the big one in October that could win me another year's membership!

(I never win anything, but a little part of me always hopes I'll get lucky.)

And I finished a quilt. The pattern is Round & Round by Camille Roskelley, and the fabrics are Kate Spain for Moda. The pinwheels use fabrics from the Honey Honey line, the backing is from the Sunnyside line, and the binding from Daydream.

disappointment and frustration

excuse the absence; husband was off work for the last few days so I feel a little weird talking to myself.

i hate to be so down-in-the-dumps so soon after my last mopey post, but it's tough. the army definitely does not set up a lifestyle that allows the spouses to follow their dreams - even as simple a dream as having a career i enjoy. i'd also ideally like to travel the world, or at least visit one other country in my lifetime, but there's no telling where we could get stationed down the line so the army might actually help with that one.

seriously, though. even with an understanding of economies and markets, it's incredible how depressing and frustrating job hunting can be. especially after nine weeks of searching, networking with the limited amount of people i know in our new duty station, and sending out at least 40 copies of my resume. i'm a little discouraged, to say the least.

and i don't want a job just for the money - although that would be nice, because we're not really living like rockstars over here, what with continued budget cuts leading to decreased pay and allowances for service members - i want a job for the purpose it gives me. i want a job so i can have a function. so i'm not just sitting here in this ugly blue recliner knitting and watching Netflix all day. because wasting away the days like that really, really sucks. this apartment feels like a prison and i can not wait to get the hell out of here. (and go where, a new prison? i really hope not.)

anyway. my poor husband has finally had enough of my funk and gave me a bit of a come-to-Jesus meeting last night. it's time to wrap my head around the possibility of not going back to work - not just right away, but if we decide to start a family, i won't be going back for a very long time. it's time to suck it up and realize that nearly every single military family makes it work with just one income, it's not the end of the world. i should just shut up and enjoy the fact that Husband makes enough money that we can actually afford for me to not go to work if i don't want to work at mcdonald's, or if i want to stay at home with our future child?

but how do i explain i want something more than being a stay at home mom? and what is the more that i want?

hobbies

Husband's hobby - straight razors. Researching them, hunting them down, restoring them, sharpening them, shaving with them. I help by going with him to antique stores and knowing how to eBay. 

The cats enjoy watching the occasional bug meander across the carpet for hours at a time.

I knit. 

and quilt (with supervision, of course)

and we all enjoy cookies.

and now, back to your regularly scheduled nap.

Five year check-in

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer. As a child of an alcoholic, I have spent my fair share of time at AA and Alateen meetings, and have seen this prayer on my mother's refrigerator for the last twenty three years. While it is primarily seen as a prayer for alcoholics, I'm choosing to use it to channel my frustrations a little more effectively.

You see, five years ago, I graduated from college with a Bachelor's degree in business. And right now, all I have to show for it is a few thousand dollars of debt. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.

I married a soldier over spring break of my senior year (okay, so college got me a few grand in debt and a husband) and shortly after graduation, we moved to Washington state. He deployed almost immediately, so I put my career on hold in order to have the flexible schedule I would need to see him while he was on his two weeks of R&R mid-deployment, to go home for the holidays and see family, to be able to take time off when family came to visit me during my very lonely year, and to adapt to him returning home after a year of being gone. Once we had reintegrated, I started to look for a position that could lead to a career. The courage to change the things I can.

It took me four months to go from part-time retail in a clothing store to part-time retail in a jewelry store. An upgrade, but not by much. It took six more months for me to find a normal, full-time, Monday through Friday nine to five position, and that was by sheer luck of knowing someone who knew someone. In those six months I did not stop looking for a non-retail job. There was frustration and heartbreak, and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness and despair every time I came home from an interview and spent the next week on tenterhooks waiting for an answer. The serenity to accept the things I can not change.

But that position worked out fantastically for me, and I loved every day I spent in that office. I loved learning about mortgages, how the different loans worked, and how to troubleshoot some of the extensive and complicated issues that can come up in the home loan process. I even loved the process of getting licensed as a loan originator. I loved the people I worked with and the positive work environment that my branch manager and operations manager worked so hard to keep. There were tough days, but there were never days that I was dreading going to work or wanted to run out the front door and never look back (and I absolutely can not say the same thing about retail). But then... my husband received orders to report to South Carolina for a six month course. He and I went back and forth for a long, long time over whether I should move with him or just stay in Washington. My managers knew I was in a tough place and they totally went to bat for me with our home office to make me working remotely feasible. I finally heard that the home office had approved me working remotely for the Washington branch from South Carolina, and after we were here for a few weeks we found out we would be going to North Carolina next. I was hoping that I would be able to transition from the Washington branch of the company that I worked for to the North Carolina branch, but that did not happen. I am extremely, extremely disappointed about how that played out. It feels like the home office of my former employer essentially washed their hands of me once we moved, and they didn't even let me keep working for the Washington branch that had worked so hard to keep me on the team. If I had known I'd be cut two months into our stay, I would not have moved to South Carolina. But - the serenity to accept the things I can not change.

So year and a few months later, here I am again. Unemployed and on a job hunt. Most days it feels like I will never find a job again; the job market is shit to begin with, and where we will be in NC is a substantially smaller market than where we lived in WA. But here is where the freakin' wisdom to know the difference of what I can and can't change comes into play - I can't change that I'm unemployed. But I can change what I'm doing while I'm waiting for a job opening. Dear self, take the rage and heartbreak and disappointment and helplessness and channel it - get your ass back into running. I can change my expectations - the way mortgage rates are rising, I am sure a lot of companies will be trying to do more with less, and during the last two months that I have been looking for work in North Carolina I have seen zero openings in what I would like to be my line of work. I can change my perspective on available positions. I may not end up working in the mortgage industry, but I'll just have to hope that wherever I end up next will be something I enjoy. Or, at least, learn something positive from that experience. Grant me the... courage to change the things I can.

All of that to say: job hunting sucks, and I never want to do it again. But please stay tuned, because I will very soon be ranting about how increasing cuts to military servicemembers' benefits and pay leads to spouses needing to find employment to make ends meet, but since they're military and they move relatively frequently it's very difficult for them to sustain consistent, gainful employment (AHEM.).

weather report

Do you see the temperatures for this week?

Even Bub's going WTF. Look at her face, she's aghast.

And me?

 Melllllltiiiiiiing.

Seven Quick Takes

I've been catching up on the goings on at Camp Patton for a little while now, and miss Grace the Hilarious has inspired me to do one of these - my brain is a little haywire right now so I think we'll all be happier if I limit my self expression.

1. Kayaking - we went on a kayaking trip down the Congaree River today. The team at Adventure Carolina was awesome, and we really enjoyed the excursion. We'll be going back next week while some friends are in town; this trip was a pretty mild three mile course, so we might go for the more adventurous Saluda River trip that includes rapids (if our guests are familiar with kayaking, that is).

2. Paleo diet - husband is on a Paleo kick lately. He's hoping to make it a new lifestyle versus a thirty day whim, we'll see how long we last. I have a few pent-up rants on the subject, namely that the Paleo diet excludes many of my primary vegetarian forms of protein and amino acids that were most certainly harvested by paleolithic man. Lentils, I'm looking at you.

-HOWEVER- he just brought me a parchment paper cone of almonds that have been roasted in honey and cacao powder so I'm feeling magnanimous and will say that I do feel much brighter and perkier on the Paleo diet than when left to my own devices. But I still eat kimchi and rice with a fried egg for lunch most days.

3. Running - it's time to get right with my body and get back to the grind. Should I sign up for the Marine Corps Half Marathon or the Army Ten Miler to motivate myself? Or... since they're only a month apart from each other... both! Anyway, other than a weird allergic-reaction-even-though-I-didn't-touch-anything I had on my walk (and I am sure my bright red thighs and splotchy calves terrified the other pedestrians), I discovered a nice little path that is relatively flat, free of traffic, and, most importantly, a few miles long for nice introspective runs.

4. New House! - I'm scouring Craigslist for the items of furniture we are going to need for the new house (erm, that's 'need', #firstworldproblems anyone?). Oversized chair and ottoman may be on lock, still ISO side table(s?), china cabinet, dresser for husband, I'll know more when we get there.

5. Strings and things - almost done with what might be my favorite quilt to date. No fewer than nine piecing errors but I still love it. Pictures when it's washed so you can't see the oopsies as well.

6. Strings and things part 2 - almost done with a pair of socks for one of the most intelligent women I know. and by almost I mean almost done with one, but I'm pretty fast once I sit down and, you know, knit.

7. Strings and things part 3 - and now I'm struggling. Anyway, I'm going to attempt to knit two socks at a time after I've finished the pair above.

Five dollars or a pair of socks if you comment.

May... May I Please Get A New Job

May already? Thank goodness. I've never been so ready for another month to pass by. I am feeling strangely motivated today, which means that the coffee table I'm perched against has been moved off the area rug and, in between snickering at Archer on the television, I've been pulling up a handy pageful of 'quick' workouts one can do at home.
It's distracting me - somewhat - from all of the frustration. I suppose I can either wallow in this frustration or embrace the free time and availability I have now, and I'm pretty sure a month (and a half) is long enough for the wallowing. If I had known my employment arrangement would end two months into our move to South Carolina, I would have stayed in Washington. But I didn't know that and I'm here now, so time to suck it up, Buttercup.
Sometimes my husband is fantastically supportive, and sometimes... Let's just say that today, I am very very ready to not be the one in the house all of the time. I don't blame him for being frustrated with me some days. That being said, I do NOT want to be the only person who takes out the garbage and recycling, sweeps and mops, does the laundry, unload the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, vacuum, dust, cook, groceries, this is not the fifties any more and I am absolutely not the housekeeper. I take no pleasure or glory from being the only one to clean the house, and when we decide to start a family I know all of these inane responsibilities will remain with me. Yay.
I want a job. And I don't want a job just for the money; that would be nice, but we seem to be okay without it. There might be less Lilly Pulitzer in my closet, but there is still plenty of food in the refrigerator. I may be losing. my. mind. but I can watch a Coursera class and potentially learn something (while simultaneously being a wee bit pissed off that what I am learning is not the continuing education courses I need to keep my NMLS license valid, BUT that is neither here nor there). But I miss having a purpose. I miss feeling like I contribute to society and to our household in a meaningful way. I miss having my mind challenged on a daily basis. I miss my friends. I feel like I'm wasting my existence floating from part time retail job to one decent year of employment to this lame-ass unemployment stint. I hope it's short-lived and that I am back to busy as f*ck soon.

crazy talk

There is a free piano listed on Craigslist, and I am soooooo tempted to go and get it.

Do I know how to play piano?

... Well, no, but I am confident I could probably figure out how to poke a few tunes out.

If I do bring this piano home, want to guess what will inevitably happen when the movers come in a month and a half?

oh, right

you're still waiting to see which house I selected (or you know already and are just reading along because it's fun and you have just as little on your to-do list as I do....)

well, first - you get to hear the story about how, half an hour before I was supposed to meet with the rental agent, I realized I would be late and that I should call in and let the agent know I would be behind schedule.
Side note for any random passers-by who don't know me yet, late is a relative term (please see blog title for more specific indicators). Most people consider about fifteen minutes' grace time when saying they will be somewhere at a specific time. To me, fifteen minutes late is late. Ten minutes past is late. On time? Yep, still late. In fact, to a person who is as spun up as myself, even if I'm five minutes early, I have arrived late.
So, with all of that in mind, my appointment was at one pm. I knew I would not arrive at 12:45 or before, as I had intended, and would thus be late. So I called. And now we're back on track to where we were last paragraph....

"Hello, yes, agent? I just wanted to let you know I might be a few minutes late for my one o'clock appointment."
"Oh, that's ok, we are flexible! Oh, and I just wanted to let you know, one of the houses, the house that you wanted to see most of all, just got rented."

Oh, crap, I've forgotten an important part of the joke here so that the punch line makes sense: the house that was my favorite, that I wanted to see most of all? I was fully prepared to fill out the application paperwork the instant the listing came up. No joke, last Tuesday morning I refreshed the page, saw this new listing, and hit the "Apply Now!" button. But then I realized the listing didn't mention the pet policy, and our kittens are our children so no pets was not an option, so I decided to call and ask. After a few slightly irritating days of not having my calls returned, on Friday I finally got in touch with someone. I was told that I would be unable to complete an application until I saw the house I wanted in person, in the company of an agent of the leasing company. Ohhhh-kaaaay, completely inconvenient, but whatever, we live close enough and have somewhere to stay in the area, I'll play along. So, how does Thursday sound? Fantastic.

So here it is, Thursday, noon-thirty, haven't eaten so I'm getting hungry (and if I'm hungry, I'm already the emotional equivalent of an eight year old), I'm going to be not-on-time, which is one of my least favorite things EVER, and the house that I was willing to apply for just off the first picture has been rented. Yes, there was a tantrum, but I managed to keep the severe case of pouty lip to the car ride out to the agency.

Anyway. From there on out it was a scramble to stack up all of the viewings I could to try to get a house that I would be happy with. S#it got all Goldilocks - at least, as much as it does when one is a brunette - this house is too big, this one is too small, this one has colors on the walls that are only appropriate to Easter Eggs, this one has the master on the ground floor and is about twelve inches from the next door's back porch (you guys want some sex with your barbecue? yeah, me neither), this one's got too much yard, and a few generally confusing layouts leading me to believe the architects may not have been fully paying attention to the task at hand when designing these residences. Heck, even the house I selected has an... interesting... layout. A lot of zigging and zagging in the upstairs hallways, and I'm going to be super amused and simultaneously terrified when the movers try to get the washer and dryer up the stairs and into the laundry room at the end of the hall.

Houses Two and Three (as seen here) were seen (House number two is the barbecue fiesta, house number three is Too Small for this not-so-goldilocks), plus a few others, and then I got lucky - I called to confirm the time I was meeting up with the agent to see a currently occupied house, and she told me the would-be renters of Favorite House had changed their minds and were going to buy, would we like to see that house while we were in the neighborhood? OF COURSE I DID.

So, barring any issues with the application, our new home sweet home:

The only fly in the ointment being that it is not available until two and a half weeks after we are scheduled to PCS. Now let's just hope Husband and I don't kill each other and the dogs don't eat our kittens while we're staying with Aunt Nancy. Also, if the Moving Gods are listening, can all of the furniture I want show up on Craigslist for super super cheap?

house roulette

Which one shall it be??

I'll tell you the fun little story tomorrow - my brain is fried from the drive!

uncaffeinated thoughts

I slept for twelve hours. Can we go back to the PNW? My sinus migraines were not this bad in Washington.

DON'T WANT: to do laundry. to drive three hours to fayetteville. to drive three hours home. to not see my husband until Sunday.

wait, Husband being out of town this weekend means I get to go to the Farmer's Market by myself and take as muuuuuch tiiiiiime as I want.

wait, do I get paid Friday?  - sadly, no job yet, but a few of my files are still trickling their way through to funding

-insert tears here- why did Husband have to get up so early? the coffee. is so. so. cold.

I WANT MY WASHER AND DRYER BACK. (1. the capacity of this stacked unit is laughable. my personal machine can take on my entire laundry basket in one go, and i do laundry, like, once a month 2. front loading washer = nasty nasty moldy gasket 3. good Lord in heaven i miss the temperature controls on my dryer 4. the stacked set is ridiculously loud. we had an earthquake in January and both my husband and I couldn't tell if it was an actual earthquake or just the washing machine's spin cycle. 5. the dryer beeps five times when it is finished, and if you do not turn the machine off right away it 'reminds' you with five beeps every thirty seconds until you are about to go stir crazy 6. the doors to both machines... you know what, i could rant on this all day, but you get the idea. this set sucks and i can't wait to be back in a real house with my Whirlpools.)

at this point i do not really care which house we end up in. i just want enough square footage to sort out the storage unit, and hopefully sort out my life shortly thereafter.

back to watching Supernatural with my favorite cuddle bug

this time last year

on this day, around this time last year, I was freaking out.
I couldn't decide if that "about to get sick" feeling was a result of the horror on my computer screen, or the fear that it could happen to me in six months. Even split, let's say.

We may never know why people do some of the things they do, but we always hope they never happen to us. Thankfully the 2013 Chicago Marathon went off with no hiccups (except for the tears at mile 25 - ohmyLord, is this never going to end? my body hurts. so much. i just want to lay down. i just want to break down. - but then a stranger caught my eye and said, specifically to me, "You can do this. You're almost there. Don't give up now, don't give up!"). left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot. The Runner's Prayer.

I have been watching the runners cross the finish line all day. I wish I could be there, at the end, to hand out medals and bananas and say "You did this. You did this incredible thing, with your body, and you may never match the magnitude of this physical feat again. Congratulations."

house hunting

Headed up to Ft Bragg this week to look at houses... Initially, we were interested in purchasing a house in the area, but there are too many uncertainties about how long we will be stationed at Bragg to make us comfortable with such a permanent decision. Plus, with me not currently working, we would rather not end up having to rent a house at our next duty station AND keep current on a mortgage if we are not able to find a tenant immediately. (Some days I am frustrated with how risk averse my husband is, but he's not wrong to be conservative in a financial market that is as temperamental as ours is right now.)

Anyway - the houses! The top contenders are:

House 1

our favorite exterior, even though the garages in front isn't my favorite aesthetic.

 she's already got my colors on the walls!

and a lovely open kitchen!

It does have some negatives, though - the porch is very small, about 3x6, and it won't be available until July 1. We were hoping to move mid-June, but Husband's Aunt has graciously offered to let us camp out at her home if we need to.

House 2

The choice of siding and garage door colors is the only major difference between this house and the first one, and they are directly across from each other in the neighborhood.

The kitchen isn't open to the rest of the house, as you can see by the arch in the wall on the right, but it has an island and what looks like substantially more cabinet space. I may feel differently about it in person, but via photos I prefer the first kitchen.

Again, I may feel different after seeing the houses in person this week, but this is the porch. Seriously?

House 3

 A similar exterior to the first two, but without the separate garage doors.

A nice, big, open kitchen - and a gas stove!!

Houses 1 and 2 are both being leased by the same realtor, and the pictures give you a decent idea of the layout of the house and what all of the rooms look like. Aside from the main floor, the bedrooms are all pretty bland and the masters were the only rooms not in the generic builder beige. I've asked the agent for house 3 if he could accommodate a showing while I am in the area, since the pictures of that house focus on the main floor and not the bedrooms.

to-do lists

today:
- buy bucket
- buy rag
- mop

I used to have to-do lists that took up a complete page in a steno notebook, full of things that needed to be done before a ten o'clock meeting. Clients to email, files to review, documentation to process, updates to the pipeline to be made... Now the only task in my day is mopping the floor, which has to be done on hand and knee due to the bowing of the reclaimed boards used on our floors. On the bright side, I have alllllll daaaaaaaay to do it. So I can avoid it for another five hours, at the very least. And I'm suddenly agreeing with Husband on the merits of carpet versus hardwood floors.



(Other items on the long range to-do list: find new house to rent. get job. register for a half marathon to get my butt back into running. Short, but the first 2/3rds of that list is rather imposing.)

emotions

Part of being high strung is having Emotions.

I'm an Emotional Baker.

Tonight's Emotions: frustration, depression, sadness

brought on by an argument re: unloading the dishwasher

his argument: I go to work all day, you're here all day. Housework is now part of your work.

my argument: ... You use dishes, too. I'm not Cinderella all-of-a-sudden.

enter ricotta cookies, complements of the 2013 Cookie A Sock Club

still talking to myself, i assume.

It's 1:30 pm EST. I'm in my pajamas, covered in strings and bits of fabric (curse you, flannel pajama pants, you quilt fabric magnets); I've brushed my hair but not my teeth, and my head. is. killing me. I wish I experienced allergies like everyone else, but my symptoms are limited to skull-crushing sinus migraines and minor nausea, following me around like a shadow. No, I'm not pregnant, I promise. Still leaving that up to everyone else I know.
Personal care aside, I'm still managing to get stuff done. To wit:

• catching up on cutting fabric for the last seven months of BOM blocks
• cookies. with whipped cream filling. 
• house hunting
• sewing those last seven months of BOM blocks
• post-stalking bloggers (I'd say other bloggers but I'm not sure I count as one yet)
• winding yarn for Daenerys socks
• winding yarn for Drogon socks

Back to the fun! 

Negatives and Positives

Life is a series of negatives and positives. For example, negative: today the fire alarm went off in our apartment building. Positive: it took us less than five minutes to stuff the cats in their carriers, grab our respective wallets, and get downstairs. Bonus, there wasn't actually a fire, just an error in the system.
With that in mind....
Negative - I am unemployed (I'll get over it, eventually. I promise.)
Positive - I now have all the time in the world to do what I want.


Negative - my jeans don't fit : (
Positive - my yoga pants do. And now I don't have to squeeze runs in! I can head out whenever I want!

Negative - I don't have a lot of free income to buy yarn or fabric.
Positive - I have a STASH! and a long to-do list.

And here we are, the reason I wanted to write this post in the first place: I wanted to get my to-do list written out. I am a list person for many reasons, the primary of which is that my thoughts are like butterflies and if I do not pin them down they may flutter off. Here we go....

• Finish sewing on binding of Round & Round quilt (which will take about five minutes) and sew binding down
• Cookie A's April Sock Club patterns were just released! 
• Daenerys - knit in Wollmeise Lavendel
• Drogon - knit in club yarn, Cephalopod's Skinny Bugga! in Tyrian Mollusk
• Lone Star quilt (or Diamond Zig-Zag quilt?) from Zen Chic Comma jelly roll
• Carousel Ride from Fig Tree Mirabelle fat quarter bundle
• finish Larch Pullover
• finish Pointelle socks

I'm sure I'll come up with more soon enough - I have plenty of stash to burn.
I did catch a lead on a position at a fabric shop at our next duty station - perhaps next time I'll post pictures of the quilts I've made. I've only been sewing seriously for about a year now, so I think sending pictures of what I am capable of might work in my favor.
Here's to also hoping I find my 'voice' soon, I don't think I sound very interesting (in the event someone other than myself is reading this).

eta - whoops, forgot to add completing blocks 4-10 of my 2013 Fat Quarter Shop Designer Mystery Block of the Month club! Wait, make that through block 11, I just saw an invoice for the next shipment in my email.

Hi there, I'm slightly high strung

I have recently become unemployed, and I am displeased. I didn't quit, and I wasn't fired, it's just.... Let me see if I can explain:

There are many positive aspects of being an Army wife. I have gotten to live in parts of the country I never dreamed I would so much as get to visit; I've climbed mountains, gone crabbing in the Puget Sound, been in the Atlantic ocean within a month of being in the Pacific ocean, shooed black bears from hiking trails more times than I can remember. I can host a party for twenty with an hour's notice or redecorate any house I step foot in without having to go to the store for supplies. I can make new best friends in under fifteen minutes.
But one thing they don't mention? It's extremely difficult to find and keep a full time position when you're moving across the country every few years. This is only my second major PCS (primary change of station, aka move from one post to another), and I've had a different job every year since I graduated college.
As annoying as that is - and I'm sure I'll have more to say about this as my job hunt continues - there is something that can compound that frustration significantly: not having had the opportunity to take those fifteen minutes to make a new friend to spend some of that spare time with. So here I am: frustrated because I have no job and no friends here. To make matters worse, I can't get a job where we live now because we are moving again in two months. Don't mind my freak out, having daily life derailed twice in six months is enough to drive anyone crazy.
Another thing they don't mention is how difficult it is for a control freak like myself to make plans. We are moving in two months, but none of the houses that are currently on the rental market for our new location have June occupancy. Everything is immediate occupancy.

On the bright side, I do have some hobbies to keep me from going completely insane while I apply for jobs (so far I've applied for an average of fifteen jobs a week for the last three weeks... to the response of crickets). I mostly knit and sew, I run on occasion, and I'm sure I'll have some Pinterest-worthy DIY projects that will be attempted as we move into our new location and I need to decorate. I may be talking to myself, but as a servant to two demanding house cats, I'm pretty much used to that.
Some time tomorrow or Tuesday I'll be back to get my to-do list written out. I have at least three quilts planned for... soon... and a fair amount of knitting works in progress.
See you soon!