May already? Thank goodness. I've never been so ready for another month to pass by. I am feeling strangely motivated today, which means that the coffee table I'm perched against has been moved off the area rug and, in between snickering at Archer on the television, I've been pulling up a handy pageful of 'quick' workouts one can do at home.
It's distracting me - somewhat - from all of the frustration. I suppose I can either wallow in this frustration or embrace the free time and availability I have now, and I'm pretty sure a month (and a half) is long enough for the wallowing. If I had known my employment arrangement would end two months into our move to South Carolina, I would have stayed in Washington. But I didn't know that and I'm here now, so time to suck it up, Buttercup.
Sometimes my husband is fantastically supportive, and sometimes... Let's just say that today, I am very very ready to not be the one in the house all of the time. I don't blame him for being frustrated with me some days. That being said, I do NOT want to be the only person who takes out the garbage and recycling, sweeps and mops, does the laundry, unload the dishwasher, wipe down the counters, vacuum, dust, cook, groceries, this is not the fifties any more and I am absolutely not the housekeeper. I take no pleasure or glory from being the only one to clean the house, and when we decide to start a family I know all of these inane responsibilities will remain with me. Yay.
I want a job. And I don't want a job just for the money; that would be nice, but we seem to be okay without it. There might be less Lilly Pulitzer in my closet, but there is still plenty of food in the refrigerator. I may be losing. my. mind. but I can watch a Coursera class and potentially learn something (while simultaneously being a wee bit pissed off that what I am learning is not the continuing education courses I need to keep my NMLS license valid, BUT that is neither here nor there). But I miss having a purpose. I miss feeling like I contribute to society and to our household in a meaningful way. I miss having my mind challenged on a daily basis. I miss my friends. I feel like I'm wasting my existence floating from part time retail job to one decent year of employment to this lame-ass unemployment stint. I hope it's short-lived and that I am back to busy as f*ck soon.
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